Rock Lee's Surprise Party!
by mosaicpuzzler
Summary: When everyone forgets Rock Lee’s birthday, they try to make it up to him with a big surprise party! But everything that could go wrong has… how could this possibly end well? THE SEQUEL IS UP! It's called "Tenten's Revenge: Hinata's Birthday Party"!
1. The Problem

**Rock Lee's Surprise Party! Better Late Than Never (… Or Is It?)**

**By: happiness101 (with help from family)**

Summary: When everyone forgets Rock Lee's birthday, they try to make it up to him with a big surprise party! But everything that could go wrong has… how could this possibly end well?

Rating: K (Jiraya's in it, but I don't say the p-word even once!)

Category: Humor

Disclaimer: We don't own any _Naruto_.

**The Problem**

_I wonder how Lee's birthday was yesterday,_ Neji thought to himself, as he ran closer to Konoha's gates, where his teammates were already waiting for him, _I guess I should be glad I missed it. I don't think I could stand 'an explosion of passion and youth in honor of Lee'. _He shuddered at the thought. When he reached the gate, he expected his teammate, Lee, to be chattering animatedly to his other teammate, Tenten, and their sensei, Guy. Therefore, he was surprised by the silence of the conversation as he approached them.

"…Nothing?" Tenten asked, worry in her voice.

"Nope. I guess… everyone just forgot…" Lee replied, seeming a little down.

"Don't worry, Lee! I'm sure that everyone is just planning an extremely youthful and glorious present for you, but the preparations were so big, it has taken them longer than expected!" Guy proclaimed comfortingly.

"…You really think so?" Lee questioned hopefully.

"Think what?" Neji had just arrived, and was quite annoyed at being ignored.

"Oh, Neji, my youthful pupil, you have arrived!" Guy turned his head toward Neji; "The village seems to have neglected our Lee's birthday… for the moment!" He quickly added the last part, sensing the disappointment radiating from Lee, "But I'm sure they're planning _something_, right Neji?"

"Oh yeah, sure." Neji replied, already walking off into town. His mission had really worn him out, and he was hoping to take a well-deserved nap.

Tenten watched Neji walk away, and then turned her attention back to Lee. "Lee, why don't you go home and rest a bit? You look tired… there will be time for training later."

Before Lee could protest, Guy agreed with Tenten's idea. "Yes Lee, you should take a rest. You must be as youthful as you can be for training!" After a firm pat on the shoulder, Guy sent Lee home.

"…So, what're we going to do?" Tenten asked when Lee was out of earshot.

"What are we going to do?? We're going to throw him the best surprise birthday party ever!! Let's get to work!" And with that, Guy sped off into the village, eager to complete his new self-proclaimed mission.


	2. The Solution

**The Solution**

After five hours of convincing and bribing, Guy finally managed to somehow gather all the Rookie 9 and the Sand Siblings in one training field. He stood on a stump and spoke through a megaphone, even though everyone could hear him fine.

"OKAY, CAN EVERYONE HEAR ME?" All the shinobi quickly covered their ears, groaning. "I'LL TAKE THAT AS A YES! NOW YOU ALL KNOW WHY WE'RE HERE, RIGHT?" A confused hush went over the crowd, and Guy took this as his cue to continue. "WE ARE HERE TO ORGANIZE AN EXTEMELY YOUTHFUL SURPRISE PARTY FOR OUR BELOVED LEE! WE WILL NEED EVERYONE'S UNDIVIDED DETERMINATION AND SPIRIT TO ACCOMPLISH THIS GOAL! WE WILL TREAT IT LIKE TRAINING, VERY INTENSE TRAINING AT THAT! NOW, WHO'S WITH ME??" Guy waited for the uproar of applause, but was instead rewarded with dead silence. A few people mumbled about coming being a waste of time, and some people were starting to leave. Guy was starting to get very discouraged, and hung his head.

Tenten rolled her eyes from the crowd and then stood next to her sensei. "Listen guys, it's your fault that we need to make this up to Lee, so just hear us out. It's not like you have anything better to do, anyway." There were murmured agreements through the throng of ninja, and they reluctantly turned back.

Guy was practically jumping for joy when this happened, and he started to tear up. "You shinobi are truly enjoying your youth! Never before have I seen such passion among—" Tenten cut him off with a glance, knowing she had barely pulled back the crowd's attention, and she couldn't risk one of his lengthy speeches about youth and passion.

"Okay everyone, I've assigned a job to all of you on this paper. Come up and check it out, and don't worry, since we have plenty of time. Neji, you did tell Lee to meet us here, right?"

"Yes, I told him to meet us promptly at four o'clock," Neji yawned, still tired from his stakeout mission. He wouldn't even be here if he hadn't felt just a little sorry for Lee.

"Four? You do mean five, right?" Tenten confirmed.

Neji looked at her, slightly frazzled. "What are you talking about? You said four!"

"So you're saying we have only…" Tenten frantically glanced at her watch. 3:23 PM. "…_a half an hour_ to prepare everything??"

Neji winced, and shrugged apologetically. Tenten shook her head, but didn't say anything further.

"Well, let's get on with it! I'm sure we can get this done in time! I'll make sure no one disturbs our 'training'." With that, Guy ran out to circle the area. The group then moved in to see what their jobs were.


	3. Shino & Naruto

**The (Strangely Cheap) 'Happy Birthday' Banner: Naruto & Shino**

Shino stayed behind as the group moved towards the list, waiting until the crowd dispersed, not wanting to become squished between bodies. When the mob began to thin out, he approached the paper. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw all the girls go in the same direction. Out of curiosity, he read what the girls would be doing. _Shopping for presents?_ He thought, _what happens if they get sidetracked?_ Shino pushed this thought to the back of his head and kept skimming the list. He finally came across his name and found that his job was to get a banner. He sighed, relieved that it wasn't that hard, but then sees a word that could confuse things. _What? I have to work with—_

"Oh hey, there you are Shino!" A loud voice behind him interrupted his thoughts, and Shino furrowed his brows in annoyance.

"Naruto… we seem to have a job to do together." Shino turned to face his partner for the day, the loud and obnoxious Naruto.

"Yeah, but this should be easy! We just have to go to the general store and buy a banner that says 'Happy Birthday'! How simple could it get??" Naruto grinned, and started to take off toward the store, "Come on, Shino! I'll race you!"

"NO. Why don't we split up and see who can find a better deal? We'll both meet back here in fifteen minutes and go with the cheaper one." Shino was already getting a headache from Naruto's yelling, and he planned to enjoy the quiet fifteen minutes he had just bought himself.

"That's a great idea, Shino! I'll see you back here in no less than fifteen minutes, BELIEVE IT!!" Naruto ran off, and shouted, "OH YEAH, I'M TOTALLY GOING TO WIN!!"

Shino sighed, and sat down on the soft grass. _Well, he won't be back any time soon… this party-thing is way easier than it looks._ With that last thought, he leaned against the tree trunk behind him and started to observe the butterfly flying nearby.

Meanwhile, Naruto was running around Konoha like a madman, yelling at each store clerk to see if they had a 'Happy Birthday' banner. Sometimes they said yes, but Naruto was always looking for something cheaper. He finally ran out of breath in front of the Ninja Academy. He stopped to collect his thoughts.

"Okay, so… the cheapest one I found was 5.00… but… oh no, which store was that?? Don't tell me I have to go check every one again…!"

Konohamaru happened to be walking by at that moment, thinking about how much he wanted an ice cream and heard Naruto thinking to himself. He turned and asked Naruto what he needed.

"Oh, Konohamaru… I'm looking for a banner that says 'Happy Birthday' on it for Lee's surprise party. Do you know where to get the cheapest one?"

"Well, I don't know any specific store…" Suddenly, Konohamaru had an idea, and it might get him that ice cream he wanted. "…But I have one at home that you can have… for a price."

"…What kind of price are we talking about?" Naruto narrowed his eyes at the little kid, a little suspicious of his ulterior motives.

"Normally it would sell for five dollars, but I'll let you have it for three, since you're my role model, and all."

Naruto grinned, and stuck out his hand, which Konohamaru eagerly shook, "It's a deal! Heh heh, Shino is totally going to lose! I guess being a role model _does_ have its perks," Naruto dug in his pocket for his wallet, but found it completely empty. "Aw, I don't have any money on me!"

"That's okay, I have to go home and get it anyway! I'll meet you back here in around five minutes," Konohamaru turned toward his house, "I'll see you then!"

Naruto nodded, and headed back towards the training field. _Wait 'til Shino hears this!_ He thought to himself triumphantly.

When Naruto reached Shino, he seemed to not have moved at all. _I wonder if he's been waiting a long time,_ Naruto thought as he slowed to meet him, _he better not have a better deal than me!_

Shino stood to meet him, "Ah, Naruto… you're three minutes early," Shino seemed disappointed by this fact, "did you find any bargains?"

Naruto nodded, and explained to him the deal he struck with Konohamaru. "…But I don't have any money right now, so…" he looked at Shino hopefully.

Shino sighed, and gave him the money for the banner. "Now make sure to check the banner before you give him the cash. I don't know if he's one to pull the wool over someone's eyes, but better safe than sorry."

"Yeah, yeah, don't worry so much! After this, we'll have time to do whatever we want!" Before Shino could warn him about anything else, he sped off to meet Konohamaru. When Naruto got to the academy, Konohamaru was already there, holding a large, rolled up piece of fabric. He smiled when he saw Naruto approaching.

"Good, you actually came! Well, here's the banner I promised you! Now hand over the cash!" Konohamaru held out his hand eagerly, putting the banner behind him.

Naruto shook his head, remembering Shino's advice. "Sorry, but you have to show me that it actually says 'Happy Birthday' on it first."

The expression on Konohamaru's face became mockingly pained, and said, "Oh, come on! You don't trust your friend?" With a flourish of his hand, he opened the material halfway and it read 'Happy Birthday' in red letters.

Naruto nodded in approval, and gave the eager Konohamaru his money. He was tossed the banner and started apologizing, but Konohamaru was already gone. Shrugging, he carried the banner back to the training grounds. _Piece of cake,_ he thought, and then his mind wandered to what he would do for the next ten minutes.


	4. Neji & Choji

**The Cake (But More Importantly, the Batter): Neji & Choji**

Neji, who was still exhausted, was relieved to find that his only job was to bake a cake. Since Hinata was the only other cook in his house and she lived with her sensei, Kurenai now, he was left to cook for Hiashi and Hanabi. Before he could return to his house, he had to wait for Choji, who would be helping with the cake. Neji considered just leaving him there, but he decided that an extra pair of hands would be helpful.

Choji was excited at the thought of cake, and ran over to Neji. "So, what kind of cake are we making??"

"Whichever mix I happen to have in my cupboard at the moment," Neji started walking toward his mansion, explaining as he went along, "I won't need any help cooking, but I figured you could stir the bowl and get ingredients, right?"

"Sure! Do I get to lick the bowl afterward??" Choji pleaded.

"NO! That's disgusting!"

"Please?"

"No."

"PRETTY PLEASE WITH SUGAR ON TOP??"

"…Maybe the spoon. But only maybe!" Choji smiled in triumph. By now, they found themselves at the front porch of the Hyuga Mansion. Neji showed Choji to the kitchen, which was completely spotless, and practically shined with sanitation.

Choji gaped at the sparkling white room. "Wow! This is the cleanest kitchen I've ever seen! Do you even cook in here??"

"Of course! I just like being neat and tidy," Neji rummaged through the nearby cabinet and found what he was looking for. "Good, I have just enough mix for one triple-chocolate cake. Choji, pass me the bowls from the cabinet under the counter over there." Choji did as he was told, and Neji got to work.


	5. Shikamaru & Sasuke

**The Pin the Tail On the Donkey Spin-Off: Shikamaru & Sasuke **

Shikamaru moved in to check the list, wondering if it was even worth the effort. He probably had to do something completely useless and time-consuming, like always. He scanned the page, and sure enough, he had to come up with a game. And to top that off, he had to work with that stuck-up brat, Sasuke. "How troublesome…" he muttered to himself. He was considering just taking a nap, but was interrupted by an abrupt tap on the shoulder.

"Well, let's get this over with," Sasuke motioned with his head toward a pile of large paper behind him, "I already have the supplies ready."

"Ha, what are you thinking of doing," Shikamaru scoffed, trudging behind him, "Pin the Tail On the Donkey?"

Sasuke turned to him, seriously considering the idea. "That's not a bad suggestion… it's easy to make, yet it will entertain the idiot for a long time. But maybe we should do something more original…?"

"Pin the Freakish Eyebrows On Lee?" Shikamaru suggested, plopping down on the ground.

Sasuke nodded. "That should be acceptable. Good thinking." He picked up a marker and spread out the paper. "Can you draw at all?"

Shikamaru shrugged in return. "You don't really need any skill to do this. Just draw a circle, eyes, a smile, and two separate strips of black paper and you're done."

"Fine, if it's so easy, you do it."

"Okay, hand me the pen and paper." Sasuke tossed over the materials, and Shikamaru got to work. He was done in five minutes.

"…That's not bad, I guess. I'm not in a position to criticize." Sasuke shrugged, "I guess we're done."

"Yep. That was mercifully easy."

"Uh huh."

With that, Shikamaru leaned back and watched the clouds drift away. _That wasn't too bad… at least Sasuke doesn't care any more than I do. _He glanced at the cloud directly above him, and promptly fell asleep.


	6. Kankuro & Gaara

**The Extremely Tricked Out Puppet: Kankuro & Gaara**

"I don't even know why we're here," Kankuro muttered, "we don't even know this guy that well."

"It's not like we have anything else to do," Gaara explained, "besides, I owe him…"

Temari rolled her eyes. "Oh, Gaara, you're turning into such a softie. Anyway, I have to go with the rest of the girls to the mall. Don't kill anyone when I'm gone, okay?" With that, she turned and chased after the crowd of girls.

"Gaara, it says here we have to get a present from the boys. The girls are getting something else." Kankuro pointed to the paper that was now smudged with a dozen fingerprints.

"What? Why are we getting two presents? Isn't one enough?"

"Apparently not. Since this Rock Lee's your new BFF, what do you suppose we get him?"

Gaara blinked in confusion, not knowing what 'BFF' stood for, but continued anyway. "I don't know. Why don't you just make him a miniature puppet, or something…?"

Kankuro shrugged. "I could do that, I guess. It won't take me ten minutes."

Nine minutes later, Kankuro held up a little wooden figure of Rock Lee. He connected his chakra strings to the right parts and showed Gaara. "Okay, I'm done. Are we finished?" Kankuro made the little puppet dance to demonstrate his point.

"I guess… but that only took up around five minutes of our time… let's add something fun!"

Kankuro raised his eyebrows. "You mean a built-in instrument of torture?"

"Yes."

"…"

"…"

"…Okay, sounds like fun. Let's see what we can cram into this thing…"

Gaara grinned mischievously, and then started to think up the different possibilities for the tiny weapon. _I can't wait for Lee to try it out…!_


	7. Kiba & Akamaru

**The Trip to the 99¢ Store: Kiba & Akamaru**

Meanwhile, Kiba had just discovered that he was in charge of food (other than the cake). He decided he would just go to the 99¢ store and buy a few bags of chips. So he took off toward his destination with his dog, Akamaru at his side. When he got there, he took his time getting to the back of the store.

"Wow, Akamaru! Look at all this stuff! They have practically everything!" Akamaru woofed in agreement as Kiba kept scanning the shelves until a pile of collars caught his eye. "Hey look! Here's some collars! There's a green one, a blue one… ooh, look at the one with spikes on it!" After about ten minutes, Kiba decided that he liked a plain red one the best. He grasped it and held it toward Akamaru with a smile. "Well, what are you waiting for? Try it on!"

Akamaru didn't like collars, so he quickly shied away from the one held in his master's hand. Kiba was confused for a moment, but then seemed to have an epiphany. "Oh, right! You don't like collars! Well, that was a waste of time!" He tossed the collar back to the pile.

Akamaru barked a warning at Kiba. He rolled his eyes and said, "Come on Akamaru, we have, like, twenty minutes until we have to go back," he motioned to the row of shelves behind them, "the food is right over there. I'll get it on our way out."

Suddenly, Naruto ran in and started yelling at the man behind the counter. "HEY MISTER, HOW MUCH ARE YOUR 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY' BANNERS??"

"Um, sir, this is the 99¢ store, everything is a dollar…"

"Oh, that's right! So, do you have any??"

"Um, no… I'm sorry, sir…" the clerk gestured across the street, "…but that store should have some."

Naruto followed the clerk's pointed finger and nodded. "Okay, right! Thanks anyway!" Kiba heard him slam the door and start yelling at the other worker down the street.

He chuckled, "Naruto is such an idiot." Akamaru barked sharply at him. "What?? I'm _nothing_ like him! And stop being so anxious, the food is _right here_." He turned, and something else captured his attention. "Oh. My. GOSH!! Look at this box of tissues! They have _pictures_ on them!" Kiba held up a tissue with a picture of a penguin on it. "We TOTALLY have to get these!! Hana would get a kick out of them, don't you think?" Akamaru groaned, feeling like they would never leave.

Ten more minutes later, Kiba was examining a pair of salt and peppershakers in the shape of koala bears when Akamaru couldn't take it anymore. He started yipping like crazy, and the clerk threatened to throw them out.

"Akamaru, stop it! Fine, we'll get the food now!" Kiba grumbled.

"Hey, if you can't control you dog, I'll have to force you out of the store!" The clerk started to approach them, but Akamaru abruptly stopped.

They headed over to the back of the store, where a few bags of snacks were stored. Kiba grabbed a few random bags. "Okay, I've got them. Now, let's get to the counter—" Kiba paused. Something didn't smell right. He sniffed the bags and realized that they smelled stale. He flipped the bag over and checked the expiration date. Just as he suspected, the bags were three months too old. He groaned, not believing his bad luck. He frantically checked the other packages on the shelves, but they were all dated the same.

Akamaru whined, smelling the same thing as Kiba.

"What are you talking about?? This is _not_ my fault! The store should have better stock!" Kiba shot back defensively.

Akamaru gave him an exasperated look and barked again.

"Okay, fine, fine! You're right, I should've listened to you and checked earlier! Are you happy now??" Akamaru nodded in contentment. "Good. Now what are we going to do? I wonder how much time we have… excuse me!" Kiba turned his attention to the clerk, "Do you know what time it is?"

"Oh yeah, it's…" he glanced at his watch, "…ten 'til."

"THREE FIFTY?? ARE YOU SERIOUS??" Before the clerk could respond, Kiba and Akamaru rushed out the door, on their way to their house. They burst through the front door and made a beeline to the kitchen. They startled Kiba's sister, Hana, who was calmly reading at the table before the intrusion.

"Hey, what do you think you're doing, rushing in like that? What are you so frantic about, anyway?" Hana peeked into the kitchen curiously, where she was almost hit in the head by a bottle of Tabasco sauce.

"Sorry, can't talk now! Here, I bought these at the 99¢ store for you!" Kiba stopped throwing things randomly into the food processor and threw Hana the penguin tissues.

Hana started to object, but she was hit in the face with the tissue box. Her eyes widened. "Whoa, these are awesome! People are coming up with strange ideas these days," she turned her attention back to her little brother, "speaking of strange ideas, what _are _doing?"

"I have to throw together something for Lee's party in five minutes!" Kiba tossed in mushrooms, chocolate milk, and everything else within his reach, and flipped on the food processor. The concoction turned a sinister shade of black, and started to bubble.

"…You really think someone's going to eat that? Only an idiot would think that's edible!" Hana shook her head skeptically.

"Let's hope Lee's stupid enough," Kiba pried the lid off the food processor and it let out a horrible stench that made both the Inuzuka's eyes tear up. He gingerly poured it into a large bowl, and it sizzled threateningly. "Let's hope he's really, really, stupid…"

"Please, you'd have to be blind AND nose-less to eat _that_… and probably lack the ability to taste!" Hana exclaimed, clutching her nose. Akamaru whined in agreement behind her.

"We don't have time to fix it now! We have three minutes to get there! C'mon, Akamaru!" Kiba ran out the door, and Akamaru followed reproachfully.


	8. The Girls' Turn!

**The Shopping Expedition That Doesn't Go As Planned**

While the boys were beginning their assignments, the girls had arrived at the mall and were deciding their plan of action. Sakura, Ino, Tenten, Temari, and Hinata sat themselves at the plaza in the middle of the mall.

"Alright, what are we going to do?" Tenten asked, as she settled into the bench.

"Well, shopping for a boy will definitely be a challenge…" Sakura thought for a minute, and then turned to Temari. "Temari, you have brothers! What do you suggest?"

She shrugged, "I don't know. I hardly ever get them presents, and when I do, it's either a weapon or a piece of candy."

"Oh…"

"WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR?? LET'S GO SHOPPING!" Ino shouted, startling the passerby, "We won't get anywhere just sitting here talking!"

"We should decide what to get before we start looking around!" Tenten argued.

"Well, no one seems to have ideas, so we might as well try to find some!"

"What about Hinata?" Hinata fidgeted at the mention of her name. "Neji is her cousin! What do you get Neji for his birthday?"

"Um…uh…h-he d-doesn't like celebrating his birthday…"

"What about Christmas?"

"S…socks." Everyone stared at her. Hinata shifted, uncomfortable with all the attention, "I…I knit them for everyone in the house… for when…um…their feet get cold…"

"What do they look like? Does he actually wear them??" Tenten asked eagerly, wanting blackmail material for later.

"W-well…" Hinata was startled by the intensity of Tenten's voice, "um… his are u-usually red… and, well, he wears them when he gets…cold—"

"That's enough! Let's get to work already!" Ino was tired of hearing things about Neji and his socks, and sped off toward her favorite store.

Sakura rolled her eyes and started to run after her. "I'll go catch up with Ino and help her stay on track. Keep thinking!" With a last wave, she disappeared around the corner.

"Hey, make sure to meet back here in ten minutes!!" Sakura waved her hand, to signal that she had heard Tenten. At that moment, Tenten heard her stomach grumble. "Well, I'm going to get something to eat. I can't think on an empty stomach!" She walked away in the opposite direction.

"Hey wait, I'm going with you!" Temari called from behind. She didn't want to be stuck alone with the girl who mangled every sentence she spoke. Her and Tenten kept walking until finally the plaza faded from their vision.

Hinata was so absorbed in watching her fingers she didn't notice she was alone until ten minutes after Tenten and Temari had left. She looked around frantically. "Oh no…! I'm alone… in a mall… with… complete strangers… th-that might kidnap me!" She jumped off the couch and headed in the direction of the bathroom. She figured that sooner or later, one of her fellow kunoichi had to go to the bathroom, and that she would just follow their group. Hinata walked quickly, not wanting to look suspicious, but she could feel her paranoia creeping in on her. If there was one thing Hinata hated, it was being alone.


	9. Ino & Sakura

**The Outfit That Causes Even Sasuke to Stare: Ino & Sakura**

"Hey Ino, wait up!" Sakura caught up with Ino, who had now stopped running. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Come on, Sakura! Let's just go shopping! We're the ones who don't know anything about what to get Lee! If you think about it, we're practically slowing the process down! So I say, why fight it?" Ino shrugged her shoulders, convincing herself along with Sakura, "Tenten has Lee as a teammate, Temari has brothers, and Hinata has a cousin she lives with. Neither of us have that kind of knowledge."

"I don't know, Ino… I feel kind of bad abandoning them to sort this out themselves…"

"Oh, stop being such a tightwad! We're seriously doing them a favor," Ino explained, crossing her arms, "besides, if we see something on the way that might be suitable, we can always buy it and call it a day."

"Well… okay! But we have to keep a special eye out for—"

"Yeah, yeah, LET'S GO!!" Ino grabbed Sakura's arm and dragged her all the way to her favorite store, A Woman's Necessities. It was packed with clothes, jewelry, makeup, and dietary supplements. The music playing was so loud, that you could hear the store before you got within thirty feet of the store. It also smelled strongly of perfume, but Ino was used to all of it now. She skipped in, already skimming through racks of clothes.

Sakura sighed, as she was thrown millions of outfits. In a few minutes, you couldn't see her head over the stack of clothes she was carrying.

"Ino…!" Sakura hissed from behind the mountain of cloth, "You're going to buy out the entire store! Will you just try these on already??"

Ino agreed grudgingly, and the two went to the back of the store, where the dressing rooms were. They were surprised to find Ayame, who was the daughter of the owner of Ichiraku Ramen, standing outside one of the stalls, examining herself in the mirror.

"Hey, that dress looks great on you, Ayame," Sakura panted from behind the mound of clothes, "are you going to buy it?"

Ayame looked behind the garments, and was relieved to see it was Sakura. "Oh, it's you! I was going to get it, but I don't think I'd get a chance to wear it, since I wear my apron all day. I see you're getting some shopping done, though." She said, nodding at Ino's future purchases.

"Oh no, these are Ino's."

"What? Ino is here? That's perfect! She told me to let her know if I ever found out anything about Sasuke and—"

"DID I HEAR SOMEONE SAY SASUKE??" Ino ran over to where Ayame and Sakura were talking.

"Yes Ino, I have a hunch about Sasuke's preference to clothes."

"WHAT?? TELL ME!!" Sakura dropped the heap of clothes as she screamed at the same time as Ino.

"W-well, he was eating ramen at the shop the other day and this girl visiting from another village came in. They weren't saying anything to each other, but when she left, Sasuke's eyes followed her out like a hawk! He then proceeded to follow her like a puppy dog out of the shop, forgetting to pay!"

"B-but Sasuke is never unfocused like that! Was she pretty at all? Like, prettier than me?" Sakura inquired. Ayame started to answer, but Ino cut in.

"Please, that wouldn't be saying much. Was she prettier than _me_?"

Before Sakura could protest, Ayame shook her head. "No, I couldn't say she was better-looking than either of you. She was quite plain, actually. But she _was _wearing this really colorful dress. No one could miss that thing! I was even staring at her from the kitchen for a while!"

"Do you think if we wore it, Sasuke would notice us?" Sakura asked eagerly.

"Maybe. It's just a hunch, after all. But if you're interested, I saw it in this catalogue…" Ayame grabbed it from the small pile of clothes she was trying on. She flipped the pages, until she found what she was looking for. She gave it to Ino and pointed. "She was wearing this."

Ino and Sakura stared at the picture of the dress. "…Well, I could see how this could draw someone's attention—"

"Are you sure Sasuke liked this sort of thing?" Ino asked skeptically, interrupting Sakura once again, "It doesn't look like something I would typically wear."

Sakura rolled her eyes and snatched the catalog from her. "That's the idea, Ino-pig! And stop interrupting me! …I think it's worth a shot!"

Ino nodded in agreement. With a quick thanks to Ayame, the two headed off to the store advertised by the magazine. It was a generic clothing store, and had pretty much anything. Sakura had been there a few times, but Ino didn't buy anything that was off-brand, so Sakura took the lead.

While they were on the escalator, Sakura started to have doubts. "Ino… do you really think Sasuke would really chase a girl just because she was wearing something he liked?"

"Of course, Billboard Brow! All men are the same: they judge by appearance before getting to know a girl. That's why I do my best to keep my body looking slim! I _will_ get Sasuke to notice me one day, and if this dress is going to help me, then I'll take it!"

"Hmph, well, I think Sasuke is a little deeper than that, but I agree," Sakura grumbled, "but call me Billboard Brow again and I'll make sure your dress is ruined for good!!"

Unfortunately for Sakura, Ino's attention was suddenly drawn elsewhere. "…What the…? WHAT THE HECK ARE THEY DOING??"

"What?? Who??" Sakura hastily spun around, and her mouth dropped open. She stared in utter confusion at the sight before her. On the opposite side of where they were going, were Tenten and Temari laughing maniacally. However, the thing that really stunned her was that they were each clutching a pair of men's underwear in their hand. "What do you think they could possibly be laughing about…? They've gone completely insane…!" Sakura blurted, completely flabbergasted.

"What?" Ino turned slightly to face what Sakura was staring at, and then grabbed the top of Sakura's head and yanked her to what she was really looking at. "Not that! Those two are going to take the last pair of dresses!"

"OH NO THEY DON'T!!" Sakura and Ino raced up the escalator, Sakura completely forgetting the strange sight she had just seen. They made it just in time to rip the dresses from the other women's hands, and dashed downstairs to buy them before anyone else could take them.


	10. Tenten & Temari

**The Girl-to-Girl Bonding Time… Kunoichi Style: Tenten & Temari**

"Hey, wait! I'm going with you!" Temari caught up with Tenten, "There's no way I'm getting stuck with _her_!" She pointed her thumb behind her at Hinata.

"Oh yeah, maybe we should invite her. She gets super freaked when she's alone." Tenten turned toward Hinata. "Hey Hinata! You want to come eat with us?"

When Hinata didn't respond, Temari seized her chance. "Well, she's not coming. Where do you want to eat?"

Tenten shrugged, and they ended up eating at the nearby candy store. Once they both had their candy of choice, they started thinking of what they should be shopping for.

"Shouldn't you know something about this guy?" Temari took a bite from her candy bar, "He's on your team, right?"

"Yeah, but I never really went shopping for him. I'm not that good of a shopper, and I usually just make him a card and help Neji make the cake. Lee is satisfied, though," Tenten explained. "But what about you? You have brothers."

"I already told you, I don't usually get my brothers presents. Gaara thinks it's a sign of weakness, and Kankuro can't disagree. The only time I do get them presents is when our father actually attended their birthday parties, and the only reason we would throw those is if he wanted us to." Temari shrugged, "I'm probably the one who gets the most gifts out my family. Kankuro always gets me something, even if it's a bag of candy or a stupid card. He's really a big softie at heart."

"Huh." Tenten chewed on another jellybean thoughtfully, having a hard time believing that the formidable ninja that was Temari's brother could be big-hearted. "Well, I guess we could always get him candy. I'm afraid he might go on a sugar rush, though… those are pretty bad…"

"Yeah, I could imagine." Temari thought for a while before making any suggestions. "…Maybe we _should_ just get him some socks. I mean, they're harmless enough. And seeing how you describe him, he seems he would appreciate just about anything."

Tenten nodded, confirming this fact. "Yeah, we could say they're for some sort of ultimate training regime!"

Okay, they sell all kinds of stuff in there," Temari gestured to the store behind her, "we can get the socks, and see if anything else catches our eye while we walk."

Tenten nodded again, and the two headed into the large glass doors. Temari knew her way around the store, so they found the sock rack in no time.

"Okay. Let's get started…" She started rummaging through the socks.

"Temari, how do you know this store so well if you live in the Sand Village?" Tenten wondered, as she examined the different pairs of socks.

"I always come here for the boys' stuff when we visit," she chuckled, "Kankuro sure loves his sock puppets."

"What? I though he used that one on his back," Tenten asked, puzzled.

"How do you think he came across using puppets as weapons in the first place?" Temari scoffed, "He loves playing with those creepy things!"

Tenten grabbed a pair of socks and pulled them on her hands. "Hello! I'm going to bite your head off! MUWAHAHA!!" She moved her hands with the dialogue, and clamped one hand over the other, so it looked as if one was trying to eat the other. Temari laughed, and the shoppers stared at them.

Once the two girls' laughter died down, Temari spoke up. "Maybe I _should_ play with Kankuro sometime. It looks sort of fun!"

"But you know what isn't fun?" Tenten frowned, pulling off the socks, "Going through socks that all look practically identical."

"You're right… let's get something else then…" Temari bumped into a metal crate behind her, and grinned. "What about… SOME LUCKY UNDERGARMENTS!!" She pulled out a pair of men's briefs from the large box. They were decorated with shamrocks, horseshoes, rabbits' feet, and other symbols of luck.

This time it was Tenten's turn to laugh. She stumbled over to where Temari was standing and pulled out another pair of underwear. This one was a pair of green boxers and it had cute little ducks and bunnies dancing on it. The two laughed even harder.

"This… this is… just so Lee!" Tenten panted, still laughing hysterically.

"Well… since you're his teammate, I'll take your word for it." Temari recovered much faster than Tenten. "But are we seriously going to get him a pair of underwear?"

"OF COURSE!! HOW COULD WE PASS THIS UP??" Tenten pulled a startled Temari toward the escalator. Just then, they saw Ino clutching the brightest piece of fabric they had ever seen just before she bolted out of their sight.

"Did you see what Ino was buying??" Temari exclaimed, completely baffled. She thought that Ino was supposed to be the fashion icon of the kunoichi.

"Yeah, and I'm no expert on fashion, but that thing was…" Tenten was lost for words.

"…I think they've gone insane."

"Yep."

And then Temari and Tenten raced to the counter to purchase the underwear before their sugar rush lost its effect.


	11. Hinata

**The Worst-Case Scenario: Hinata**

After ten minutes of wandering around aimlessly and cautiously avoiding eye contact, Hinata finally reached the women's bathroom. She was surprised to find showers in use there, and wondered briefly why someone would even need a shower in the mall. She was also amazed that no one had abducted her yet, and was starting to think she was being a little too paranoid. She shook her head, knowing that being scared of nothing would not please her father… or impress Naruto. Sighing, she looked up at the ceiling and gaped at what she saw.

On the ceiling was a big, white-haired man with strange tear-markings on his face. He was giggling, and didn't seem to notice Hinata yet.

Hinata had no idea what to do. She stood there, frozen in shock. Finally, the man felt someone watching him. He turned, and he saw a frightened girl staring at him with wide eyes. He noticed the Leaf Village headband around her neck, and a trickle of sweat ran down his face. _Oh no, Tsunade's sending spies after me now?? I can't let her get away!_ Just when he was about to call out to Hinata, she ran out the door. He rushed out after her, startling some of the women entering the bathroom. He quickly hid behind the building, keeping a close eye on the 'spy'. He figured as long as she was within reach, she could be stopped.

Hinata was terrified that the man was following her, and ran around blindly for the next five minutes. She finally stopped, out of breath, and started to walk towards the exit.

_Why is this man so bent on following me??_ Hinata checked to see if he was still hiding behind the building with her Byakugan. He was. _He's probably a child snatcher, waiting for weak little girls like me in the bathroom! He wouldn't dare kidnap me in public, would he? Maybe if I just stay in the crowd, he won't come near me…_ she ducked into the crowd, and was immediately surrounded by strangers, which frightened he slightly, but was too busy panicking about her pursuer to think about her current location. She took a peek at him again. His eyes never seemed to leave her.

_Most definitely a child snatcher! Why does this always happen to me?? I have to find the others, quick! _And then Hinata remembered something her father had said to her the time she thought monsters lived under her bed:

_"Father, come quickly!" The six-year-old Hinata pulled her reluctant father to her room. _

_"What is it? This better be important!" Hiashi was extremely irritable, especially at this time of night._

_Hinata pointed weakly at the dark space beneath her bed, "I…I think…" Hinata stammered, "…There are m-monsters down there!"_

_Hiashi just glared at Hinata, making her cringe. "You seriously dragged me all the way up here for _this _nonsense?? It's all in your head! A strong ninja wouldn't be so paranoid!" He then went on to lecture to her about all the reasons why he ought to disown her, and Hinata just sat quietly and listened, ashamed of herself. She had really thought there were monsters…_

Hinata shook her head, ridding the flashback from her mind. _Father is right! I shouldn't be so paranoid! That man is probably going where I am headed, and is following me so he doesn't get lost. And he was in the girl's bathroom because he needed to find his friend, so he wouldn't get lost in the first place! Yes, I'm positive that's it…_

Still, just to be sure, Hinata kept within the crowd, far out of the mysterious man's reach.


	12. The Stalker's Fate

**The Consequences Of Messing With the Kunoichi!**

"Today was pretty successful, don't you think?" Sakura turned to Ino, who was walking with her back to the plaza. She then remembered that they were supposed to be back in fifteen minutes (although it had already been at least twenty), but pushed it to the back of her mind.

"Yes, I got an outfit that'll knock Sasuke dead! With the help of my irresistible charm, of course," Ino winked, as if it proved her point. "So unfortunately, I have an advantage over you."

"At least I'm not fat, Ino-pig!" Sakura shot back.

"OH YEAH??" Ino was just about to throw a punch when she heard laughter. She looked behind her, and she saw Tenten and Temari coming.

"Hey, what's so funny?" Sakura asked, glad she could avoid getting in a fight with Ino.

"Nothing really," Temari shrugged, who abruptly stopped laughing. She pointed at Tenten, "You should ask her."

Sakura then remembered what she had seen earlier that day, and decided she didn't want to know. Also, she didn't want to remind Tenten about how late they were. "Did you find anything for Lee?"

"Oh, that's right! We _were_ shopping for Lee!" Ino exclaimed, suddenly remembering their true purpose. "We didn't think of anything. Did you guys get anything?"

"Well—"

"GUYS! I'm so glad you're here!" Hinata ran in, cutting off Temari. "Th-there's a man that's st-stalking me…!"

"What? Where??" Tenten looked around anxiously, forgetting the reason why she was laughing so hard. Among all the Hidden Leaf kunoichis, she was the closest to Hinata, and she wanted to get revenge on the guy that's scared her this badly.

"H-he's… behind that b-building…"

Everyone scrutinized the building, which was making the man in question sweat even more. Finally, he couldn't stand it anymore. He stepped out, and the crowd let up a gasp.

"It's an old man!" Ino yelled, "That's just creepy!"

"That's not just any old man, Ino!" Sakura hissed, "That's Jiraya, one of the Legendary Sannin! Lady Tsunade says he's famous for being a Peeping Tom!"

"A PEEPING TOM??" Ino, Temari, and Hinata nearly toppled over in surprise.

"You were the one stalking Hinata?" Tenten asked darkly.

"Hey, now have some respect for your elders! You can't call me that in public…"

"H-he… w-was… a p…p—" Hinata fainted from shock before she could finish her sentence. _That explains everything…_ she thought, right before she succumbed to darkness.

Everyone glared at Jiraya, who was starting to get seriously worried. "H-hey guys… it's all a big m-misunderstanding! You see—" he didn't finish his sentence, because all four of them pounced at once. Before he could do any cool jutsus, Temari knocked him out cold with her giant fan. The girls then proceeded to beat up his unconscious body.


	13. The Party Comes Together

**The Party Comes Together…! …And Then It Falls Apart**

Neji was proud of himself. He had baked a triple-chocolate cake in less than the thirty minutes he had, and was striding triumphantly toward the meeting area with a good extra five minutes. He turned his head and yelled, "Hurry up, Choji! We must get the cake there before Lee arrives, which will be in exactly five minutes!"

"_You_ try carrying a delicious cake without trying to eat it for three minutes!" Choji panted, inhaling the delicious smell of the cake. "Can't I just have one bite? PLEASE, Neji??"

"No! I let you lick the bowl _and_ spoon, aren't you satisfied??"

Choji moaned, but stopped complaining. They reached the training grounds, and found to their surprise that they weren't the first ones there. Naruto and Shino were sitting under the nearby tree, and Naruto was chatting Shino's ear off, much to the annoyance of Shino. Choji also spotted Shikamaru sleeping a few feet away next to Sasuke, who was sitting quietly. _Probably thinking about how lucky he is not to be in Shino's position,_ Choji thought to himself.

Naruto then smelled the cake Choji was holding. "WOW, IS THAT THE CAKE??" He raced over to Choji, and was about to get some icing with his finger when Neji expertly swatted it away.

"DO NOT TOUCH THE CAKE. We will eat it when Lee gets here." Neji nodded his head toward the tables that he and Tenten had set up earlier, "Choji, set down the cake over there." Choji walked off, and he returned his attention to Naruto. "So, I assume you found everything you needed?"

"Yeah, it was a piece of cake! Ha, ha, cake…" Neji stared at Naruto. "You know, since you brought the cake…?" Neji continued to glare at him, and Naruto hastily continued. "Well, Shino and I had to get a banner, and I got one for only three dollars!"

Neji raised an eyebrow, knowing that it was cheaper than the usual price. "Did it get a discount for a defect, or something?"

"No! I'm just a financial wizard! Here, I'll prove it to you! HEY SHINO, BRING ME THE BANNER!!"

Shino sighed, and slowly walked over to Naruto. He handed him the wrapped up sign, and Naruto snatched it from his hands. With a snicker, he jumped into the trees and hung it up.

"…Well, what I'd tell you? Easy-peasy!" Naruto grinned.

Neji and Shino just gawked at Naruto's stupidity. "…Naruto… did you look at this before you bought it, like I told you to?" Shino questioned.

"Yeah, of course Shino! I told you I would!"

"…Then would you please tell me what it says on this banner?"

"Well, yeah, it says…" Naruto hopped down to where Neji and Shino were standing. His jaw dropped. "'HAPPY BIRTHDAY KONOHAMARU'?? I… I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!!"

"As you would say, 'believe it'. You're such a loser." Sasuke approached Neji with a paintbrush and paint can. "I'm just going to cross out the name. Any objections?"

"N…no. G-go ahead…" Neji was still awestruck, but then regained his composure. _It's only that little thing… Lee won't care anyway… but Tenten…_ he shook his head, _No! This is not my fault. If anyone's getting beat up, it's Naruto._ Neji nodded in contentment to himself.

"Jeez, Naruto. How could you be so stupid?" Sasuke taunted, as he drew a large 'X' over the Konohamaru's name.

"YEAH?? LET'S SEE _YOUR _MAGNIFICENT PROJECT!!" Naruto called back.

Sasuke landed on the ground next to Naruto, shrugging. "Okay," he turned in the direction of Shikamaru, "Shikamaru! The poster, if you don't mind."

Shikamaru shot up, and then grabbed the large piece of rolled up paper beside him. He trudged toward the group of boys and then held it out for everyone to see.

"…So… do I pass?" he mumbled, smirking slightly at the amazed faces of Neji and Naruto. Even Shino was impressed, though he didn't show it. Shikamaru was holding up a perfect sketch of Lee's face. But wait… something was missing…

"Hey, where are his eyebrows??" Naruto asked, desperate to find a flaw somehow.

"Oh yeah," Shikamaru held up two pieces of thick black paper. "Right here. It's 'Pin the Freakish Eyebrows On Lee'".

"Don't you think he'll be insulted??" Naruto asked, still finicky.

"You call him Bushy Brow. If he isn't insulted by that, then I doubt he'll be any more displeased with this." Sasuke said, taking the materials from Shikamaru and hanging them up by the nearby tree.

Naruto glared at his back. When Sasuke returned, Naruto muttered, "I hate you…"

"Wouldn't have it any other way."

Naruto was just about to punch Sasuke (which Sasuke would unquestionably block) when Neji let out an ear-piercing shriek. "CHOJI!! WHAT… WHAT HAVE YOU DONE??"

Everyone turned to Choji, who was looking very guilty with chocolate all over his face and hands. The plate he was sitting next to was now completely empty, having being licked clean. He laughed nervously, "If it helps… it was _really _good!"

He then took off toward the village, and Neji shook his fist after him and yelled, "YEAH, YOU BETTER RUN!! I'LL GET YOU LATER!!"

"Hey, don't panic—" Shikamaru started. Unfortunately, Neji was already past panicked.

"I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO MAKE ANOTHER CAKE!! OOOOHH, IF TENTEN FINDS OUT I'M DEAD!!"

Just then, Gaara walked out from the patch of trees that Kankuro and him were working in. They were almost done with the puppet, and Gaara had left to tell Neji that they'd need a few more minutes.

"Hey, Neji." Gaara poked Neji on the shoulder. "I just want to let you know that—"

"YOU!! GO BUY A CAKE!!" Neji shoved a few dollars into Gaara's hand.

"But I—"

"GO!!"

"What kind of—?"

"I DON'T CARE!! GO NOW!!" Neji tried shoving Gaara, but he didn't budge, and stared at the other group of boys in confusion.

"He's completely snapped. Just go along with it. It'll be much easier." Shikamaru pointed toward the village, "I presume you know where the bakery is?" Gaara nodded. "Oh, and try to get one as fast as possible." Shikamaru shot Neji another bored look, "I don't think he can last much longer."

Gaara rushed toward the cake shop as soon Shikamaru was done talking. On the way, he stopped to see Kiba carrying a large bowl of black, horrid smelling goop. He stopped, and saw that Kiba also wore a clothespin on his nose.

"…Is that our poison?" Gaara asked, pointing at the substance, which was bubbling menacingly. "Kankuro and I were the ones who needed it. It was delivered quite quickly this time…"

"No."

"…Well, for the sake of time… I won't ask. But be careful," Gaara started to walk away, "Neji has already gone mad. Don't do anything to anger him further." With another suspicious glance at Kiba's home cooking, he left.

Kiba watched Gaara speed away, and grimaced. "Wow, already? Maybe someone's messed up worse than us!" Kiba said hopefully to Akamaru, who was walking a good ten feet away. He barked doubtfully. "Ah, come on Akamaru! Stop being so negative! At least we aren't dead…" _…Yet_, Kiba and Akamaru thought at the same time.


	14. The Arrival of the Youthful Rock Lee!

**The Youthful and Long-Awaited Arrival of the Honored Guest, Rock Lee!**

While Neji was still freaking out about the disastrous party, Lee was making his way towards the training grounds. _I wonder why Neji wanted to train all of a sudden,_ Lee thought to himself, as he raced across the training field, _it is not like him to do things on such short notice. _He was suddenly startled out of his thoughts by a loud uproar right in front of him.

"SURPRISE!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LEE!!" Naruto and Kiba suddenly jumped out in front of him, and Lee looked beyond them to see the Leaf shinobi's combined efforts at a surprise party. He could also see Shikamaru, Shino, Sasuke, and Neji standing idly a few feet away. Neji had somewhat gained his composure after yelling at Kiba for a while, but if you looked closely, you would see that his hair wasn't as perfectly straight as it used to be.

It took a few seconds for the idea of a surprise party for him reached Lee's brain. Once it did, he burst into tears, started running around like a maniac, and hugging everyone in reach. All the while, he was ranting on and on about how lucky he was to have such considerate and youthful fellow shinobi.

When Lee hugged Neji, Neji muttered, "Lee… what did I tell you about hugging me?"

"Sorry," Lee said, as he released Neji, "it's just… I'm so HAPPY!! Thank you, everyone!! But wait…" Lee looked around, "…where is Tenten? And Gai-sensei?"

"Oh, they'll be here a little bit later," Neji explained, silently rejoicing that Tenten wasn't there to kill him yet. "They planned the whole thing, so they still have a few errands to run. Now, you get to pick what you want to do first." He crossed his fingers behind his back, mentally begging he wouldn't want cake or presents like a normal kid.

"Hmm… let us partake in an activity where we can all enjoy our youth!!" Lee exclaimed, "Since everyone obviously worked so hard, I should not be the only one to enjoy this!"

Neji surveyed their party again. The banner with a crudely crossed out word, the container of steaming ooze, the poster on the nearby tree, and the absence of cake and presents. _I wonder if Lee is trying to make us feel better… or really is that stupid. …He's probably just that stupid._ Neji nodded to himself, still holding his breath for what Lee wanted to do.

"You mean… a game?" Kiba suggested hopefully.

"YES!! A GAME IT IS!!" Lee shouted, fidgeting with excitement.

A sigh went up through the crowd. Apparently Neji wasn't the only one crossing his fingers.

"Over there. Sasuke and I made up our own game for you." Shikamaru pointed to their poster of eyebrow-less Lee.

"WOW, THAT LOOKS JUST LIKE ME!! Except…" he frowned, trying to figure out what was missing, and then he gasped. "MY BEAUTIFUL EYEBROWS!! WHERE DID THEY GO??" He absentmindedly ran a finger of his own, reassured to find they were still there.

"That's the game," Shikamaru held out the two black pieces of paper, "you have to stick them on yourself. Sound like fun?"

Lee gaped at the two giant eyebrows in his hand. "BRILLIANT!! This will be just like training!!" He removed his forehead protector from his waist and wrapped it around his eyes, like a blindfold. He then spun around in circles. "Here I go!!" He stopped, and immediately fell over. He got back up with much difficulty, and tried to navigate himself back to the picture of his face. The others watched him in his struggle, and tried desperately not to laugh as Lee collapsed and got up time after time. Finally, Lee managed to find his face, but placed the eyebrows under his nose, so when you looked at it, you'd think he had a moustache.

That did it for the small group of ninja. They burst into laughter, and when Lee saw what he had done, he followed suit. Even Shino was chuckling lightly.

Once everyone's laughter had faded, Lee heard his stomach grumble. "Well, I think it's time for cake!" he proclaimed, to everyone's alarm.

"Not quite yet, Lee." Shino motioned to Kiba, "Kiba has made you a homemade meal, and he's _dying_ for you to try it."

Kiba narrowed his eyes at Shino and mouthed, _I hate you_. Shino just smiled smugly under his jacket, but no one else could see his amusement. Everyone figured that he was just as horrified as everyone else. Kiba knew better though, and scowled.

"Really, Kiba?? You did that for _me_?" Lee got up off the ground, staring at Kiba.

"Uh… sure… I-I'm not that good of a cook though, so—"

"Oh Kiba, you're just being modest!" Naruto teased, and Kiba turned to glare at Naruto. "I know you put your blood, sweat, and tears in that—"

"Shut your mouth, you idiot!!" Kiba shot back. Before Naruto could respond, Sasuke stepped in the middle of them.

"Man, Naruto. Can't you say anything without getting in trouble?" Sasuke turned away from Naruto's outraged face, and to Lee. "The food is on the table over there. Help yourself."

Lee sprinted over to the table Sasuke indicated, and saw the large bowl. He smelled it, and made a face, but then grinned. He grabbed the spoon next to it. "I will try everything once!" He cried, and did something that amazed everyone: he ate a spoonful of Kiba's cooking. Everyone watched with bated breath for his reaction, and then tears starting pouring from Lee's eyes. He started jamming spoonful after spoonful into his mouth.

In between swallows, he said, "This is… more… training! Just like… Gai-sensei's… Dumplings of Rejuvenation!!" He put down the spoon, and his companions gaped at the empty bowl before him.

"He ate… all of it…" Kiba breathed, completely disbelieving.

When Lee turned behind him and saw everyone's awestruck faces, he frowned. "I'm sorry… did you want some?"

They were silent. They were still too stunned to speak, so they just shook their heads.

"Do you think we should call the medics?" Shikamaru muttered to Neji, who was completely immobilized.

"I… I really don't know anymore…" Neji suddenly regretted ever getting himself into planning this party. If he had only listened to himself when Tenten had asked him to set up a meeting with Lee, he would be taking a much-deserved nap right now.


	15. The Fashionably Late Kunoichi

**The Fashionably Late Kunoichi **

Back at the mall, Ino, Sakura, Tenten, and Temari stepped off of Jiraya, tired but quite satisfied. Jiraya was out cold, having been battered and beaten for ten minutes straight.

"Hmph… that was pretty fun," Temari placed her hands on her hips, "I haven't beaten someone that long and hard since elementary school boys."

"Yeah, I even got a _twenty-seven_ hit-combo on him!" Ino crowed triumphantly, punching her fist in the air.

"Aren't _any_ of you guys worried about being caught next to the beat-up body of a Sannin??" Sakura asked, starting to panic. _What if Lady Tsunade refuses my apprenticeship because of this??_

"You're right. The passerby don't really care right now, but we shouldn't stick around." Tenten lightly shook Hinata, who was still out cold.

Hinata finally came to, and looked around her, bewildered to find herself still in the mall. The unconscious Jiraya at her feet further took her aback. "You… w-what happened?"

"We got our revenge for you!!" Tenten smiled down at her, and then helped her on her feet.

"O-oh…" Hinata smiled graciously at everyone in thanks, and was only slightly disappointed that she didn't get to thrash on him also. She abruptly remembered why they were at the mall, and asked, "What time is it?"

"It's…" Temari squinted at the clock on the nearby wall, "…4:15."

Something suddenly clicked in Tenten's mind, and she started to fret. "_4:15??_ We're late for Lee's party!! It'll take us at least ten minutes to get back to the training grounds…!" Tenten shot up, and the other girls followed suit. They ran out of the mall, completely forgetting Jiraya.


	16. The Cake, Confusion, and Conclusion

**The Cake, Confusion, and Conclusion**

Meanwhile, Gaara had just arrived from his trip to the bakery with a pink box in hand. "I'm back." He expected the group to turn to face him, but he got no reaction. He was puzzled, but one look at Lee and he completely understood. _He ate the poison-looking stuff?? He really is an impressive ninja…_ Gaara smiled slightly, wondering if he'd have the stomach to eat that.

"GAARA!! YOU WERE PART OF THIS TOO??" Lee had noticed Gaara staring at him, and beamed. He got up to hug him, but Gaara just glared at him, and so Lee quickly sat back down. Instead, Lee pointed to the pink box Gaara was holding, but before he could ask, Neji ripped it from Gaara's hands and pulled the confused sand ninja along with him.

"It's about time you got here! You took approximately twenty minutes!! What were you doing??" Neji demanded.

"Eating a muffin. But before you give that to Rock Lee—"

"EATING A MUFFIN?? Didn't you know we have a crisis on our hands??" Neji nearly smacked Gaara in the head, but remembered that he still hadn't done a few things he had wanted to do in life.

"Yes, but it's about the…" Gaara was tired of getting interrupted, so you could imagine his outrage when Neji turned his back and turned to Lee to open the cake box. He was considering just killing him on the spot, but decided against it. _Lee probably wouldn't appreciate me killing his teammate on his birthday. Besides, it might turn out that this might be worse than dying…_ Gaara continued to dwell on the cake and how he got it:

_When Gaara reached the bakery, he looked directly at the man behind the counter and said, "I need a cake. NOW."_

_"I'm sorry sir, but all our cakes are homemade and take around thirty minutes to make—"_

_"Perhaps you didn't hear what I just said," Gaara flashed the clerk one of his famous death glares, "I need a cake… NOW. I don't care what you have to do!"_

_The clerk was being seriously freaked out, so he grabbed the nearest cake box and shoved it toward Gaara. "H-here! B-but I'm afraid that I c-can't be responsible for what it is!"_

_"Thank you," Gaara said calmly, putting Neji's money on the counter. "You can keep the change." He was about to walk out when he saw a blueberry muffin. "…Actually, I'll have one of those, too."_

_The clerk hurriedly threw it at him, and Gaara caught it without even turning around. "Is there enough money for everything?"_

_"Y-yes, sir!" There really wasn't, but the worker just wanted to get Gaara out before he decided to kill him._

_"Okay then. Have a nice day." Gaara took a bite of his muffin and strolled out._

_Once Gaara had disappeared behind the corner, the man let out a sigh of relief. "I hope he doesn't come back because he wasn't satisfied with the cake," he muttered to himself. He stood there for a while, and then yelled back to the kitchen, "I'm taking my lunch break early!" He then ran out of the shop before the rest of the crew could stop him._

Gaara grinned. He had of course looked at the cake already, and knew that Neji would have a fit when he made the grand unveiling. He watched as Neji removed the lid on the box, anticipating Neji's face along with everyone else's. When Neji did see the cake, the corners of Gaara's mouth turned up, although he was cracking up hysterically internally. Neji's face was a mix of horror and incredulity, and there are really no words to describe how funny Gaara found this. He couldn't really say anything better of everyone else's faces, either.

After a long stillness of them just staring at the cake, Neji snapped. "'CONGRATS ON NEW BABY'??" He turned to Gaara and gave him a leer that impressed the subject of his glare, but didn't scare him.

Gaara shrugged. "I _tried_ to tell you."

Neji would have replied, but he was too busy worrying about Lee's reaction. Lee was still trying to come up with a reason why his birthday would say 'Congrats on New Baby', and so he was trying to think up an excuse that at least Lee would believe.

"What we mean is, 'CONGRATS ON YOUR NEW BABY…" Kiba looked around desperately, and then found what he was searching for. "…BABY SQUIRREL!!" Kiba handed Lee an absolutely terrified baby squirrel, which had just happened to be walking on the ground behind him. "We would've put 'Happy Birthday', but we figured that was just too ordinary." He smiled, praying that Lee would buy it. He figured that if Lee had eaten his cooking, _anything_ was possible.

Lee stared at the squirrel, and then beamed at it. "WOW! This is the best birthday present ever!! Thanks, everyone!!" He put the trembling squirrel on his shoulder, "But what should your name be…?" He turned to Neji, who was still glaring at Gaara. "Neji, what do you think I should name her?"

Lee's question startled Neji out of his reverie for the moment, and he said the first name that popped into his mind: "Tenten."

"…Yes, that is a positively youthful idea, Neji! In honor of Tenten being a part of planning the best party ever, I christen this squirrel Tenten the Second!! Tenten will love it!!" Lee turned from his new pet squirrel, Tenten, and toward Neji. "Thanks, Neji!"

Neji suddenly realized that he had just suggested to Lee to name a squirrel after Tenten, and wondered if she would be mad about that. _That's the last thing I need right now! Another reason for Tenten to hate me!_

Just then, Gaara felt a tap on his shoulder. He saw that it was Kankuro with the finished puppet in his hand. "I finally finished! Did I miss much?"

"To be truthful, yes." Gaara turned to his brother, "But it doesn't matter. You're timing couldn't be more perfect, Kankuro."

"Yeah, but I never got the poison. It's okay though; it'll work with or without it. But seriously, what did I miss?"

"You probably don't want to know." Kankuro surveyed the chaos around him, and decided to agree with Gaara.

"Oh, hi there!" Lee noticed Kankuro and Gaara talking, and he also wanted to show Gaara his new pet squirrel.

"Uh… hey! I'm Gaara's brother, Kankuro." Kankuro waved, having never really met Lee.

"Hi Kankuro!!" Lee said with a little too much enthusiasm for Kankuro's liking. He gave a look to Gaara that seemed to say, 'Seriously?' Gaara replied with a look of his own, one that Kankuro knew too well. So he chose to keep his mouth shut.

"This is for you, Rock Lee." Gaara took the small puppet out of his older brother's hand, and held it out to Lee.

"Whoa, that is awesome! It is a small version of myself!!" He took it from Gaara, and moved it around. He made it kick, jump, and even fly. "Thank you very much," Lee turned to Gaara and Kankuro, "I will treasure it for the rest of my life!"

"That's not _all_ it can do!" Kankuro was getting excited, which worried Shino a bit, who knew personally how bloodthirsty he could be. Shino didn't speak up though, dismissing his suspicions as paranoid.

Gaara, however, knew what was coming and was getting excited also. "Yeah, push that button right there!"

Now Shino was definitely worried.

Lee pushed the button, and a lasso popped out of the figure's chest and roped around Tenten the Second. The startled squirrel was pulled into the wooden object, and Tenten II let out a squeal from inside.

The group was stunned, except for Kankuro and Gaara, who chuckled maniacally under their breath. Lee started screaming, "TENTEN, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Tenten and the other girls just happened to get back at that moment, and so she was very confused at the sound of her name. "Lee? I'm right here!"

Lee looked up and saw the real Tenten. He was just about to explain when the puppet's chest opened again. Gaara and Kankuro were anticipating a lot of blood, so they were disappointed when they saw the squirrel come out, physically undamaged. However, most of its fur was shaved off in its horrific experience in the puppet, and so there only remained fur on the top of Tenten II's head.

"Tenten, you're okay!!" Lee picked up Tenten II, and put her back on his shoulder.

"Of course I'm okay! Would you please tell me what's going on??" Tenten was extremely confused now.

Lee continued to ignore her, and held Tenten II out for examination. He saw that only patches of fur were left, and that there were bruises scattered across its torso. "Tenten, you look terrible!!"

Lee was suddenly slapped, which made him drop Tenten II. The squirrel quickly ran off, having been scarred for the rest of its life.

"Ow, what was that for??" Lee clutched his cheek, not knowing where the slap had come from. For a crazy second, he thought Tenten II had hit him.

"What do you mean, 'what was that for'??" Tenten demanded, holding her hand up to smack him again.

Hinata understood what happened, and grabbed Tenten's hand before she could make contact with Lee's face again. "Tenten, no! I-I think that Lee named his squirrel after you! I…Isn't that right, Lee?"

Lee nodded his head, confirming Hinata's words. "Oh." Tenten dropped her hand, and crossed her arms. "Why did you name a squirrel after me?"

"Because I wanted to thank you for planning this wonderful party!! And Neji also suggested it." Tenten turned to glare at Neji, but then turned back to Lee.

"So, tell me. What did I miss?" Tenten asked.

Lee went on to describe the last half hour, completely forgetting his lost pet squirrel, while Tenten and Hinata listened intently. Temari left to join her brothers, who in turn filled her in.

As for Sakura and Ino, they immediately made a beeline for Sasuke, who had his back turned to them at the moment.

"Oh, Sasuke… do you like our new outfits??" Sasuke turned at Ino's voice, and was nearly blinded by the combined color of Sakura and Ino's dresses. They were polka dotted with neon colors, and were decorated with large, colorful fruits at the hem.

Sasuke stared at the dresses for a moment, certain he had seen that exact dress before. Then he realized that the two girls were waiting for an answer. "No."

"WHAT?? But we thought…! At Ichiraku Ramen…!"

When they said Ichiraku Ramen, Sasuke had an epiphany. "That's it! I knew I'd seen that dress before! Are you talking about that pickpocket?"

"Huh? What pickpocket?" Sakura asked, not liking the direction the conversation had taken.

"When I was eating at that ramen place, a pickpocket stole my wallet. I noticed it almost at once, and followed her out to get my wallet back. She was more than happy to give it back, upon learning who I was." Sasuke explained.

"So… you _don't_ think these dresses look good on us?"

"No. Honestly, I thought you had more fashion sense than _this_, Ino. You both look ridiculous." Sasuke turned his back to them again, leaving the two sulking.

"Oh… I probably look horrible right now…" Sakura muttered, completely crushed.

"SAKURA!! YOU WILL ALWAYS LOOK BEAUTIFUL TO ME!!" Lee cried from where he was still talking to Tenten and Hinata.

Tenten hit him on head. "Can it! You were in the middle of telling me about Neji's face when he saw the cake! You can't just stop like that!"

"I am sorry Tenten, but I must seize every moment I can to express my love for Sakura!" Lee exclaimed. Tenten sighed, and Hinata giggled.

Watching them silently, Shino remembered what the girls' job was supposed to be. "Hinata, didn't you guys go shopping?" He didn't want to say anything about presents, just in case they had neglected to get one, like he had predicted in the beginning.

"Yes, but we didn't end up getting anything…"

"Well, Tenten and I did, actually." Temari added, to everyone's surprise.

"What? I don't remember us buying anything." Tenten said, turning to face Temari.

"You're telling me you forgot?? It was _your_ idea!"

"What was my idea??"

"This!" Temari pulled out a small gift bag, which still didn't trigger any reaction from Tenten. She sighed, exasperated, and threw the bag at Lee. "Just open it!"

Lee started to tear out the tissue paper, and Tenten suddenly recalled what it was, and how she was completely insane only a few minutes ago. Before she could snatch the package away, Lee was already holding up his present: a brand new pair of boxers.

Once again, everyone was dead silent, only this time the silence was more impressive, since there were more people. Tenten buried her face in her hands, wanting to die. _What was I thinking?? Oh yeah, I _wasn't_ thinking because I was on a sugar rush!!_

"This…" Tenten looked up at Lee, worried at what he might say. "This… is FANTASTIC!! How did you know I needed a new pair of boxers?? Did I tell you??"

"Y-yeah, of course you did! I-I mean, why else would we get them for you! Eh heh, heh…" Tenten grinned, trying desperately to regain her composure.

Everyone around them was trying badly not to laugh, but Temari's look of urgency silenced the crowd. Everyone knew better than to mess with Gaara's sister.

Neji, however, couldn't help but let out a giggle. Tenten turned to him and said, "Neji, maybe if you're lucky, I'll get you some to match your Christmas socks!" She smiled smugly as Neji's eyes widened with fear.

_What?? How could she have possibly found out…?_ Neji suddenly turned and glared at his cousin, knowing she was to blame. _Hinata… I always knew you were evil!!_

Hinata, oblivious to Neji's cold stare, continued to hold back her laughter.

Suddenly, Shikamaru realized how late it was. "Wow, look… the sun is setting."

Everyone turned to face the setting sun, and Lee started to cry tears of joy again. "This… this has been the best birthday I have ever had in my entire life!! I shall treasure this memory forever!"

"Yeah, and to think we threw it together in only—" Naruto was suddenly strangled by a wave of shinobi, who were all too tired of nearly ruining the party to just yell at him. Lee thought it was a group hug, and tried to join it. But when they saw Lee running toward them with open arms, they all moved.

Suddenly, Guy ran in, checking up on how the party went. "Lee! How was your day?"

"Oh, Guy-sensei…! It was the best day of my entire life!!"

"That's… magnificent! I'm so happy that everything worked out!!" They then both burst into blissful tears and embraced each other. Everyone else decided they had had enough of Lee's 'youthfulness' for the day, and left to take a nap.

And they all lived happily ever after!!

**THE END!!**

**There **_**is **_**a sequel, but I'll only post it if I get some reviews!! So, hope you enjoyed it and review if you can! It doesn't need to be much!**


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